Goodbye 2014

Hmmm, 2014 . . .It's been a year! A wedding, a funeral, two ER trips, 
one ambulance ride, three surgeries, one broken back, a vow renewal and 
a 20th wedding anniversary! 

What have I learned?. . 

Weddings are exhausting, but we gained a son! 

Funerals are sad, but there is hope in Jesus. 

Medical emergencies are scary, but doctors, nurses & hospitals are a blessing. 

Kids keep getting older, no matter how hard I wish they wouldn't. 

And, even after 20 years of marriage, there is no one I would rather 

spend this crazy journey of life with than Brian Tanner!

I hope 2015 is a little less eventful for our family. . . 
but if not, I hope I can see the lessons in it. 
Happy New Years from our family to yours!
~Connie

We can be friends!

Not sure if you've heard, but Kelly Ripa doesn't care if her daughter doesn't like her. Several times in the past couple of weeks I have seen social media headlines about this particular news story. I love Kelly Ripa, I often listen to her bubbly talk show while I am cleaning or checking my email, but for some reason this article has bothered me. Now wait, hear me out. I know, I know . . . it's our job to protect our kids, we are their authority, they are to honor and obey us. I get it. But, being that I have four daughters, I know a thing or two about mother/daughter relationships. And guess what, you can be their friend and you should care if they like you. As a matter of fact, it is okay to want to be their best friend. 

I actually googled "how to be a good friend" and came across this article: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Friend. 

What does it take to be a good friend? 

Being Trustworthy

Be dependable

Apologize when you've made a mistake

Be Honest

Be Loyal

Be Respectful

Be Selfless

Be a Good Listener

Give Thoughtful Advice

Give Space When Need

Be There for Them 

Be Forgiving

The Bible tells us in Exodus 20:12 to “Honor your father and your mother.” 

The Hebrew translation for the word “honor” means “to give weight to.” 

If you want your kids to give weight to your opinions and actions (hold your opinions 

and actions at such a high regard they let your response factor into their decisions), 

then you need to exhibit the characteristics of a TRUE friend. There will be times as a parent you will need to discipline, to use your authority and to allow your child to face consequences of their actions, but all of this can be done while still maintaining a 

friendship with your child. When you establish and maintain a friendship with your child

 they will come to you for advice, they will listen to your voice of reason, they will obey 

your rules and the will understand that you have their best interest at heart. You will be

 the one they come to about relationships, about temptations and about desires of

 their heart. You will be the one they can't wait to come home to and share the news 

of their day. So moms and dads, it’s okay. . .really, enjoy your kids, laugh with them, 

have a pillow fight, have heart to heart talks, chat in the car and thank the 

Lord for every moment your child allows you to be their friend!

Be Intentional . . .

A little over a year ago my world changed.  Oh, I've had lots of changes in my life. . .marriage, moves, the birth of four daughters, my call to homeschool, graduation, my daughter getting married. . .you get the idea, but literally, my world changed.  Pappy, I think everyone knows who Pappy is, was admitted into the hospital and Brian and I went for ice cream.  Yep, we went for ice cream.  You see, for some reason, Brian and I had always included Pappy in our future dreams, we knew that one day we would have her with us.  Even in the early days of our marriage, we would dream of our future house and for some reason, it always included a place for Pappy.  Well, the day had come, Pappy was admitted to the hospital and we (we being the entire family) knew it was time for Pappy to no longer live alone.  Here's the deal, no one knew our little secret, that we wanted Pappy with us. So that particular Sunday, Brian and I went for ice cream and discussed how we would convince the family that we were the ones that should be blessed enough to have her come live with us.  You see, Pappy wasn't a burden, she was loved by many, but we knew that for some reason she belonged with us. Why?  Well not because we were better or we could offer more, but because we KNEW God had placed it on our hearts.  Our family listened and believed and so my life changing journey began.

After a few set backs, including Pappy breaking 4 major bones and spending a lengthy amount of time in a skilled nursing facility, Pappy officially came home on September 11, 2013.  Those first few days (okay maybe weeks) I often wondered what I had gotten myself into!!  Pappy was an independent woman who lived many years of her life alone and now she was under the care of her grandson's wife. . .Probably not what she wanted.  But, slowly we found our rhythm and a friendship like no other.  People would often comment about how noble it was of us to open our home or what a blessing we were to Pappy, what they didn't know was we were the ones being blessed.  I cannot even begin to describe the months that Pappy lived with us, for you'd be reading for days, but I can say my days were filled with singing hymns, prayer, laughter and love.  Oh, I'm not saying there weren't hard days, there were, but the great moments far outweighed the bad!  During those months of doing what the world thought was a noble thing, the Lord was at work in MY life.  He knew he needed to slow me down, keep me at home and put before me the example of a Godly woman. . .that is EXACTLY what He did!!  I'm a stubborn one, thick-skullled, slow to learn, pig headed. . .just a few adjectives used describe me over the course of my lifetime.  I needed to be broken, I needed to stop and listen. . .He who knows me best knew this!  So here I was, stuck at home day in and day out, listening to the repetitive stories of a woman with dementia. . .yep, He knew that I not only needed the example of a Godly woman before me, but one that would repeat herself over and over again!  Slowly, her stories and the unconditional love she had towards others began to penetrate my thick skull.  I began to break. . .I began to change.  See, I'm not a bad person, never have been.  I am pretty much a rule follower, I love most everyone, I am a good friend, I am a pretty good wife and mom (most of the time) and I love the Lord. . .But, I wasn't who God called me to be.  I had always been the things I just listed because I am selfish!  I follow rules because I don't want to get in trouble, I love most everyone because I want everyone to love me, I am a good friend because I want good friends, I am a good wife and a good mother because, well I want good kids and a good marriage and I love the Lord because I want to go to heaven.  I haven't once lived or even tried to live selflessly.  Oh, I know you think I am being too hard on myself, no I am being honest.  I realized that my life I had led, although it looked very Godly to others, was a life I lived fully for Connie!  God knew it too.  Therefore, He took the most selfless person I have ever met and placed her right before my eyes. . .man He's good!!  

Eight months, four days. . .that is how long Pappy lived with us before God called her home.  I guess that is also the number of months and days God knew it would take to change my life.  Those first few days without Pappy here were the hardest in my life.  Although surrounded by people I love, I felt alone.  For the very first time in my entire life, I really became dependent on the Lord for my strength!  Another thing God knew about me . . .I too am an independent lady and I hadn't every fully relied on Him.  I began to pray like I had never prayed, study like I had never studied and love like I had never loved. . .selflessly.  About a week after Pappy passed away, I knew what I was called to do. . .live intentionally.  I needed to be intentional in EVERY decision I made.  Am I doing this selfishly or selflessly?  The only way to know was to be in prayer often.  

Two months, fifteen days. . .that's how long it's been since Pappy went home to be with the Lord.  I am doing my best to live intentionally and carry on a legacy of a woman whose shoes are just too big to fill!!  I won't always make the right decisions and I will continue to make selfish decisions. . .BUT, I am the daughter of a Gracious Father who forgives me over and over and over again!!  I hope you will join me in my desire live intentionally and I pray that you will not have to go on an eight month, four day journey to learn this lesson (but if you do, I hope it is as much fun as mine was)!

~Connie 

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philipians 1:6